My Harry Potter Horror Movie
by Obscurus Lupa
Summary: Beware of this story! Don't hate me if you're a Ron lover! Please read and review!


My Harry Potter Horror Movie My Harry Potter Horror Movie 

By: Cbpatches2001-refining the word pointless for 11 years. 

Harry Potter woke up in his room at the Dursley's house. He was going to go to school today.   
Harry: Oh my gosh! I'm going to be late! What do I do with my hair?   
He quickly flattened his hair out and it flopped out of place when he let go. He ran out the door, carrying his things for school. Dudley ran in towards him.   
Dudley: Save yourself!   
Harry: What is it?   
Dudley: It's horrible-grotescue, I don't even know what grotescue means! I just found out that- that-   
He looked horrified.   
Harry: Spit it out!   
Dudley: Every mean person in this story is obsessed with the word ruddy! I don't know what ruddy means either! This is so ruddy!   
Harry: Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!   
He fell to his knees.   
Harry: I shall never survive! What has become of this world? Tell me! Tell me now!   
He started crying.   
Uncle Vernon: Get your ruddy bottom into the ruddy car, you ruddy scarface!   
Harry: It's happening! No!   
He looked around and Dudley was hanging by his neck off of the ceiling fan by his new tie Aunt Petunia made him wear. 

Harry walked up to a boat and he got onto the front of it. Hermione tapped him on the shoulder.   
Harry: Oh, Hermione. I've got a surprise for you. Just close your eyes.   
Hermione: But-   
Harry: Shh. Just close your eyes.   
Hermione: All right.   
She closed her eyes. Harry brought her up to the edge of the boat and lifted her arms up.   
Hermione: I feel like I'm flying!   
She kept her eyes closed and took a deep breath in. Harry let her go and she fell into the water.   
Hermione: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!   
There was a splash and we see some water fly up.   
Harry: This is the wrong movie! I'm supposed to go on the Hogwarts Express! Not this boat!   
He smacked himself on the forehead and left, ignoring Hermione's screams for help. As he leaves, we can hear some singing from the boat.   
Popeye: Cause I'm Popeye the sailor maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!   
Man: Shut up!   
We hear some glass breaking and some screams. 

Harry goes into a compartment and sits next to Ron.   
Ron: Hey.   
Harry: Wazuuuuuuuuuup?!   
Ron: Wazuuuuuuuuuup?!   
Neville comes in.   
Neville: Wazuuuuuuuuuup?!   
Someone throws a bottle at him and it hits him in the head. He falls over unconscious. Hermione walks in. She's soaking wet.   
Hermione: Hey, man. This ride is going to be tubular!   
Draco walks in.   
Draco: Hey, you ruddy-   
Ron: Wait! You aren't supposed to come in yet!   
Draco: Oh right! I'm sorry! I came in too soon!   
He went out the door, then came back in.   
Draco: Hey, you ruddy scarface, ruddy mudblood, and ruddy- ruddy- uh-   
Seamus comes up behind him and whispers in his ear.   
Draco: And ruddy freckleface!   
Ron: How dare you?!   
Draco: How dare you dare me?   
Ron: How dare you dare me when I'm daring you?   
Draco: How dare you dare me for daring you when you're daring me?   
Harry: Give him a wedgie, Ron!   
Ron tried to give him a wedgie.   
Ron: No! Steel underpants!   
Draco gave him a wedgie.   
Ron: He's too strong!   
Harry: You know what to do, Hermione!   
Hermione got out some black ink and squirted it in Draco's hair.   
Draco: Nooooooooooooooooo! I'm melting! Melting!   
He ran out the door.   
Hermione: I've got the urge to do that again!   
Ron: Did somebody say urge?   
Harry and Ron got out some herbal shampoo and started washing her hair. 

Harry, Ron, and Hermione came off of the Hogwarts Express.   
Ron: I'm so glad to be back!   
Harry: I'm so unglad to be back!   
Hermione: Does anyone have any gum? 

Harry and Ron were sitting in the common room. Neville ran up. His head was bandaged up from where the bottle hit him.   
Neville: There's a murderer in the school!   
Ron screamed like a girl.   
Ron: This is horrible! If we run away, one of us will have to stay because Hermione'll trip!   
Harry: How do you know she'll trip?   
Ron: In every horror movie, the women always trip.   
Harry: Oh yeah!   
He slapped his forehead. Snape ran in the room.   
Snape: The ruddy killer's on the loose! Three hundred ruddy points from Gryffindor!   
Mcgonnagal: No one can spell my name!   
Ron: It isn't even typed right in this story!   
Hermione: Does anyone have any gum?   
Suddenly, a person with a mask on like the one in Scream comes out with an ax.   
Cedric: Every man for himself!   
Fred: Aren't you dead?   
Cedric: I'm haunting my old house.   
Fred: But you were in Hufflepuff!   
Cedric: Aw, man! I got the wrong house!   
George: Forget the house, run!   
Everyone ran. Ron tripped. Harry and Hermione stop to help him.   
Ron: Save yourselves!   
Harry: I'm not leaving you!   
Ron got up.   
Ron: Aren't you coming, Harry?   
Harry: I'll hold him off!   
Hermione: I'm not going to let you get killed!   
Harry put his hand under her chin and lifted it up.   
Harry: That's the way it's meant to be. Besides, the main character never dies in the story.   
Hermione: Good bye.   
Harry: Here's looking at you, kid.   
He left towards the killer.   
Hermione: Man, I love him!   
They ran off. 

Ron and Hermione were in the library. Harry runs in.   
Harry: He almost got me, but I managed to escape.   
Hermione: Harry! You're hurt!   
She pointed at a small cut on his arm.   
Hermione: What happened?   
Harry: It was a paper cut.   
Ron screamed and fainted.   
Hermione: How long do you have?   
Harry: As long as you want.   
Hermione: Oh, Harry!   
Ron woke up.   
Ron: Look!   
Draco came in. His hair was still black from the ink and he had a long swirl of whitish blonde down the middle. Dumbledore comes in and bites Draco's head.   
Dumbledore: Hey! Where's the cream filling?   
Voice out of nowhere: Hostess, now that's the stuff!   
Sirius: I came to help you guys!   
Harry: Wait! How did you know that we were in trouble?   
Sirius: That's a good question. Actually, I don't know either! Oh well!   
Remus: I just killed the murderer!   
Hermione: How'd you get here?   
Remus: I don't know. This story doesn't make any sense!   
Ron: Hey, anyone want Starbucks?   
Harry: Sure!   
They all walked off. 

THE END 

A/N: Have a story you want me to write? Tell me in your review or email me at cbpatches2001@Yahoo.com! If you have a question tell me your email adress and I'll get back to you! Thanks!   
  



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